Decentering Men
Decentering Men: Why and How Women Must Take the Center
When I say “decenter men,” I don’t mean hatred. I don’t mean exclusion for the sake of exclusion. I mean something far more radical: realigning our attention, our power, and our lives so we are no longer orbiting male-focused systems, teachings, or expectations.
For centuries, men—and male-centered systems—have dominated society. From politics to religion, economics to culture, male perspectives, desires, and authority have been normalized as the standard. Women? We’ve been collateral, ignored, or managed. Decentering men means refusing to keep playing that role.
Here’s what it looks like in all the ways:
1. Decentering Men Spiritually
Male gods, male prophets, male clerics—male teachings dominate the spiritual frameworks most of us have inherited.
Decentering men spiritually means:
Reclaiming your own divine authority and spiritual power.
Trusting your intuition, body, and inner compass above any male-centered doctrine.
Rejecting teachings that tell you your freedom or worth depends on male approval.
Excavating the misogyny, transphobia, homophobia, and other oppressive ideas we’ve internalized.
learning from, following and working with female led spiritual advisors and not men.
2. Decentering Men in Culture, Knowledge, and Creativity
Culture teaches us to orient around men. Media, history, education, art, and science all celebrate male achievements while often erasing women’s contributions.
Decentering men here means:
Centering women’s stories, experiences, and creations as primary, not supplementary.
Recognizing that many innovations, discoveries, and artistic works credited to men were originated, built, or inspired by women whose contributions were stolen, erased, or ignored.
Questioning the way male-centered narratives dominate art, music, science, literature, and history.
Valuing relationships and communities outside of sex, romance, and family as sites of power, growth, and wisdom.
Using your resources, energy, and attention to support those historically denied recognition and access.
3. Decentering Men in Relationships
Even in intimate and family relationships, women are conditioned to orbit men: their moods, desires, and expectations.
Decentering men here means:
Prioritizing your needs, boundaries, and desires.
Choosing consciously where to invest your emotional, intellectual, and domestic labor, and considering redistributing it toward marginalized genders.
Reclaiming your erotic self—your authentic sexuality—and refusing to define it according to male desire or expectation.
And for men? Decentering men in relationships is just as critical. It means rejecting the socially imposed roles, hierarchies, and emotional expectations that patriarchy imposes on them, letting men experience connection, vulnerability, and care without being forced to dominate, control, or be the center. Decentering men benefits everyone.
4. Decentering Men in Knowledge, Power, and Labor
From business to academia to politics, men dominate access to resources, knowledge, and authority. Women are often positioned as helpers or caretakers instead of decision-makers.
Decentering men in these areas means:
Claiming authority over your own knowledge, finances, and decisions.
Creating women-centered networks where leadership, wisdom, and protection flow without male oversight.
Actively divesting from cisheteropatriarchal systems that maintain male dominance.
5. Decentering Men Internally
Patriarchy isn’t just outside of us—it lives in our minds: the voices that tell us we’re too emotional, too loud, too ambitious, too much.
Decentering men internally means:
Recognizing the male-centered conditioning that has shaped your thoughts, beliefs, and self-judgment.
Trusting your own judgment and inner authority.
Stopping the cycle of seeking male permission, approval, or validation to exist fully.
Why This Matters
Decentering men is not optional if we want freedom, safety, and power. It’s radical self-preservation, spiritual reclamation, and political action.
When women decenter men:
We reclaim our bodies, minds, and spirits from exploitation.
We build communities where our wisdom, creativity, and labor are central.
We redistribute power, recognition, and resources to those who’ve historically been denied them.
We expose and dismantle the systems that harm everyone, including men.
When men decenter men:
They stop performing patriarchy to survive.
They reclaim emotional, creative, and relational freedom.
They become allies in creating societies where power isn’t defined by gender.
Decentering men isn’t about attacking men. It’s about removing male dominance as the default and giving women—and all marginalized genders—the authority, space, and visibility we’ve always deserved.
